Here’s the first, and most important, rule about anal play for straight men: EVERYONE should talk about it without shame!
We're living in an age of sexual exploration that afford us so many opportunities move past damaging social stigmas to embrace our full sexual pleasure. And guys, trust this, anal play provides countless pleasures. Inside and out, the ass is a hotbed of sexual sensation that will have you moanin’, groanin’ and orgasaming like you never have before.
But, that first rule, that we should all talk about straight guy butt fun? We actually need to call that rule 0. Because there are five more rules you and your partners need to know, understand, and embrace as you embark on your journey to anal pleasure.
Before we get into the rules, let’s address the rainbow elephant in the room by debunking a common stigma.
Despite the fact that all kinds of folks, queer and not queer, have been having bum fun for centuries, harmful, misinformed ideas have permeated culture and made many straight men apprehensive about enjoying some of the most thrilling sexual chills available.
So, let's be really clear here: desiring and enjoying anal stimulation has nothing to do with your sexual identity. Being gay is part of who you are. It's about who you're attracted to, not how you have sex.
This stigma against anal play centers the assumption that being gay is something bad or something to be avoided. Of course, being gay most certainly isn't bad, and enjoying having your butt pleasured doesn't make you gay.
I’d tell you to take that stigma and stick it up your ass, but we’re concentrating on happy bum thoughts here.
While we're at it, let's debunk some other common misconceptions and worries about anal play that stop straight people from going around back.
Just to be clear, these are all resoundingly false! There are so many sexual sensations to be had in the anus that straight men have been told to ignore because of these nasty stigmas and misconceptions. So, if any of these ideas are preventing you from trying anal play, put your mind at ease.
Now, let's move onto those rules so you can get started on the road to anal pleasure.
There are no truer words than these: “all great sex starts with great communication.” This is true for any type of sexyfuntime, but when it comes to anal play for straight men, there are some extra dimensions to consider. A lot of folks have significant “unlearning” to do around assumptions and stigma when it comes to dudes and buttsex, and that process can be a process, both personally and in your relationship.
So, start with a conversation. Don’t just go exploring or sending your partner’s hand to the back door. That might work in some relationships, but a talk is, by far, the better way to go.
Talking about anal sex first will provide the opportunity for two things. First, and most importantly, it gives you a chance to establish that anal play is something you both want to try. If so, that can then be the catalyst for a bunch of different opportunities: checking out how-to guides, processing any feelings about the stigma and misinformation surrounding anal play, deciding if porn serve as inspiration for your play, and maybe some sexy anal toy shopping.
Talk and talk some more. Or maybe after that first conversation, you both decide you're ready to dive in (pun intended). If that's the case, make sure to get all the information you need to play safely before your first try.
*There's always an exception to the rules, right? Of course, a conversation is the necessary first step if you want to try anal play with a partner because consent is not only sexy, it's mandatory. But you can also begin this journey on your own by experimenting with solo bum fun!
When you take control of the situation first, you’ll know how to gauge your enjoyment of different buttsex options. A great place to start is in the shower. As you’re soaping up those fabulous butt cheeks, let your fingers linger deep in the cleft. Feel the texture of your hole. Squeeze and tighten, then let it relax and feel loose. Move your fingers from the base of your scrotum, along your perineum and all the way up to the small of your back.
How does that feel? Do you want to go further? Perhaps try a little penetration? Perhaps introduce an anal training kit?
Incorporating solo anal exploration can be a fun, occasional pleasure or it might become a must-have masturbation habit! This is a great way to get ready for anal sex with your partner. But if this is as far as you choose to go with bum fun and decide it isn’t going to be part of sexyfuntime with your partner, then that’s good too!
The fear of anal play causing pain is real. And no, this isn’t just a sex myth.
Anal play can absolutely be painful and downright dangerous if it is not done right. That’s a key phrase when it comes to anal — done right.
One of the big hurdles to overcome is the fear and anticipation of pain. The reality is, it might hurt. This is not a guarantee, but it might. Can you try to mitigate this? Absolutely!
You can try many different physical things, but an important thing to remember is the psychological aspect. It is so easy, and quite natural, for the anticipation of discomfort to take over, regardless how turned on and eager you are. If your body decides it's nervous about penetration, it will naturally clamp down, and in the case of an anus, clamp shut. That's when pain can happen and cause a vicious cycle of bad experience.
The first key is to really, really relax your body and your mind. Try the calm down strategies you use in the rest of your life to bring you to calm your mind and focus not on the discomfort, but the potential pleasure anal play can bring. This might seem like a simple thing, but it can play a huge role in preparing your body for pleasure and not reacting to potential pain.
From the physical side, introduce an anal dilator to your pleasure chest. These penetrative toys can be adjusted change girth up and down. You can start off small and get your booty used to anal sensations. Over time you can, if you like, move up to larger toys until you hit the sweet spot of your personal bum fun threshold!
Gentle stretching with well-lubed fingers is a must before putting anything else in the anus, as is taking things slowly. That stretching feeling may be a bit uncomfortable and being penetrated can produce a very "full" kind of feeling, but a sharp pain is a bad sign. Stop, recalibrate, and try again when you want to.
If everything goes does go well, your anal experience will probably feel amazing.
However, there's still something to consider to ensure the greatest potential for ass-centred pleasure: making the rest of your body comfortable during anal play.
For many straight men, receiving ass play will put them into physical positions they’ve never really experienced. Whether you’re face down, ass up or on your back with your legs spread wide, ensuring comfort and the opportunity for other bodily pleasures will absolutely enhance your anal experience.
One of the best ways to get intimately acquainted with the many great feelings the anal area has to offer is to not dive right in. Take things slow and explore the whole of the “crev-ass.” Butt cheeks, perineum, inner thighs, outer rim, oh my!
The entire ass area is a treasure trove of amazing sensations. Taking your time to explore these many offerings will help you become more comfortable and relaxed, allowing you to focus on the pleasures being presented.
Diving right into anal penetration puts a lot of pressure on “enjoying” something that you might need time to become truly familiar with. Instead, you can first try caress and rubbing and maybe even spanking the cheeks with your hand or a toy. Same goes for the inner thighs, a terribly underappreciated sexual hotspot.
Moving on, the perineum, or taint, is another happy place. A light caress to the outside of the taint is a tactile delight. Press a little harder, especially with a perineum vibrator, and you can feel some hot and heavy prostate pleasure.
Finally, getting up close and personal with the anus is likely your goal, but there is so much more to anus stimulation than penetration. Lots of folks don’t even make it to the penetration stage because touching, teasing and licking the outside of a butthole can be absolutely electrifying!
There are many different ways to play with your anus, and you’ll surely find one that works for you.
This is the classic for buttsex of all sorts. Tuck your penis and scrotum down between your legs so they are accessible. The closer your shoulders are to the flat surface, the more open your butt cheeks will be to your partner, offering more exposed flesh for fun. If you’re bending over, place some pillows under your hips and belly to offer support.
Doggy style is great for light touch and exploration, rimming and finger and toy penetration. If you’re shy, it also offers the opportunity to not make eye contact and instead focus on the pleasure.
Another classic, but for different reasons. Again, to offer better access, place some pillows or a wedge under your hips and ass and keep those legs spread wide. You might need to take breaks to stretch to avoid cramping and discomfort from the unusual sensation of spreading your hips this way.
Anal play in reverse missionary offers great pleasure potential, particularly prostate stimulation. It also gives your partner the best access to your penis and scrotum.
A helpful way to overcome trepidation about ass sex is if your partner also offers to suck or stroke your cock at the same time. Don’t worry, the ass play is going to feel great all on its own! But adding these other forms of stimulation will take you to another level.
This position is also very intimate. Sharing looks and seeing your partner’s pleasure can be a huge thrill and reassurance while you're trying something new together.
Riding is the best introduction to anal penetration, especially if you’re keen to enjoy pegging with a strap-on. Straddling her hips offers in Cowgirl a great chance of first time success.
Remember, one of the key aspects of anal sex is patience. From the top, you'll be able to control the speed and depth of penetration at your own pace. Butt fucking is not a race. You can ease your hole down her pole, adjusting to and experiencing all of the sensations to be had.
Be aware that anal touch and penetration can still feel uncomfortable even if all of the precautions are taken. There's no shame in anal not feeling right for you.
Now here’s the brown elephant in the room. Poop. Seeing it, smelling it, touching it. Beyond considerations of potential pain, the possibility of encountering an unidentified fecal object around your anus freaks people right the fuck out. This can run strong for both folks interested in an anal adventure. As the fellow receiving, it is only natural to worry that your body might offend or turn off your partner.
Yes it can be. But there are many ways to greatly reduce the risk of unintended poop play in advance of hoped for buttsex.
If you’re thinking of trying ass play for the first (or, really, any) time, be aware of your diet in advance. Concentrate on foods that give you the best, solid turds. Drink lots of water. Avoid foods that give you loose stool.
Right before you're ready for anal play, be sure to have a seat on the porcelain throne and evacuate your premises. Then jump in the shower, relax under the warm water and clean your butt. Some folks prefer to clean inside and out with the help of a warm water enema.
Sometimes, despite the best hygiene prep work imaginable, a little poop residue still happens. So, keep a supply of gloves, condoms, dental dams, and baby wipes on hand.
Instead of putting an end to your anal pleasure at the first sign of trouble, wiping up and changing gloves or condom can be enough to keep that backdoor party going.
When it comes to anal play, the more slippery, the better. That's not to say that there aren’t ways to enjoy anal pleasure without lube. Light exterior caresses and rimming do not require lube. However, if anything—finger or sex toy—is headed past the anus, get that bottle of lube warmed up and ready!
If something is going to go inside your butt, you need to use lube, no ifs, ands or buts about it.
The anus is a wonderfully sensitive body part that offers so much pleasure potential. But it needs some help. The anus, sphincter, and anal cavity are strong but tender bits of our anatomy. They really put up with a lot of shit, but they are not fond of the rough stuff. Unlubricated anal penetration can result in anal fissures — small cuts and tears. Applying liberal amounts of lube and patience in play can avoid these.
If you are using a condom for anal sex, which is always a good idea, there are two important things to remember:
Condoms are a particularly important consideration for bum fun because, let’s remember, they can decrease the potential spread of STIs. Besides that, they also make clean up after anal sex that much easier.
There are many different kinds of lube, and folks have been using all kinds of slippery liquid to get stuff up their butts for centuries. Nowadays, it is generally preferable to avoid food-related products (oils and Crisco were a historical favourites), in favour of either a water-based or silicone lubricant.
Each has advantages and disadvantages for butt fun.
These lubes clean up easier and are the most compatible with silicone sex toys. However, they may not last long, can become sticky feeling during prolonged use, and will need reapplication (or water added) to ensure they maintain the need viscosity for anal penetration.
Silicone lube lasts much longer than water-based lube. You can go and go!
But you have to be careful what you go and go with. Silicone sex toys cannot be used with silicone lube as it degrades the material of the sex toy. Also, it is a bit harder to clean up after and can contain more ingredients that don't agree with all bodies.
Without a doubt, one of the best, most fulfilling aspects of anal sex for a straight man is the opportunity to explore new and exciting sexual opportunities to feel great and orgasm.
Seriously, adding anal pleasure is going to ratchet up your orgasms by countless degrees of pleasure, especially when you add toys.
Sure, a lot of sex toys, like vibrators and dildos, work for bum fun, but our greater understanding of the intricacies of anal anatomy and pleasure have led to a boom in thrilling, creative and ingenious anal sex products.
Hold on to your ass, folks, the anal toy revolution is here!
Get ready for the ride of your life! The prostate is the hidden jewel of ass sex that will take you to new heights of pleasure. Tucked up on the anterior wall of the anal cavity, the prostate is a walnut-sized gland that, when stroked, produces amazing sensations.
It can be reached with a prostate massaging sex toy (some even offer vibration!) or a finger, either on your own or by a partner.
When straight fellows open their minds to opening their asses, they open themselves to a wide range of dual stimulation. Butt plugs are a fantastic way to increase your body’s pleasure potential by enjoy manual, oral, or penetrative sex, while feeling those sweet butt sex sensations at the same time!
Butt plugs are designed to be hands-free. They go in and they stay in place until you take them out. They come in different sizes and shapes and can also included vibration. Vibrating butt plugs are extra sensual, as they allow your partner to control the action.
If, as a straight guy, you've been hesitant about anal play for any reason, hopefully, we've enlightened you by exposing the boundless pleasure anal play can provide. Go forth and enjoy!
