DDLG Dynamics: What’s Your Daddy Identity?

The DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl) relationship dynamic is likely one of the softest and most nuanced forms of BDSM, with the "Daddy" often serving as a protector, nurturer, and mentor to their "little."

However, the specific power dynamics within a DD/lg relationship can vary depending on the individuals and what works best for them. Not all Daddies subscribe to a strictly dominant role, and not all littles are fully submissive (see: Brat). Instead, the DD/lg relationship typically involves a balance of vulnerability, care, and authority for both partners. This power exchange and level of responsibility is often what attracts many people, myself included, to this dynamic.

If you're interested in starting a DD/lg relationship with your current partner, you're already in one and aren't quite sure how you identify your role, or you just want to learn more about the dynamics involved, here's the breakdown of what it means to be a Daddy and examples of the different types of Daddies.

What is a Daddy?

A "Daddy" is an archetype in a sexual and romantic relationship that describes someone who identifies as a dominant or authoritative person. Although these traits are often associated with men or masculinity, anyone of any gender can be dominant or authoritative.

“Anyone can be a Daddy — period the end,” says sex expert and Head of Content at pleasure brand MysteryVibe, Natasha Marie Narkiewicz. “This Daddy archetype may offer support, guidance, nurture, or discipline to their significant other in many ways,” Narkiewicz continues. “Their partner typically identifies as submissive and defers to their ‘Daddy’ about certain things in life or in the bedroom.”

Some people may take on the role of Daddy occasionally or only within the bedroom, while others may adopt a full-time Daddy identity in a 24/7 lifestyle.

What makes a Daddy? 

The best part of being in any relationship is that you and your partner can decide on the terms and what works best for you. When it comes to being a Daddy, the same principles apply.

Daddies can take on a variety of roles and responsibilities depending on their wants and the needs of their littles. Some Daddies are more dominant and authoritative, setting clear rules and expectations, while others may have a more gentle, nurturing approach, offering emotional support and guidance, protection, and security (physically, financially, or both) to their littles.

While age play may be a factor in some DD/lg dynamics, it’s not a requirement — the “Daddy” title is more about the power exchange and caregiving role than a literal age or parental relationship.

“There are no rules as to who you can call ‘Daddy’,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Biird and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject. “If it turns you on or makes you feel good, then do it.” 

Types of Daddies

Although there are hundreds of ways to be a Daddy, whether in a DD/lg dynamic or not, some of the most common Daddy archetypes include: 

Teddy Bear Daddy 

The Teddy Bear Daddy has a more caregiver approach to their dominance and prefers a gentler, more nurturing dynamic. They may offer emotional and physical support (e.g., being a shoulder to cry on or helping their littles with small tasks like opening jars, says Narkiewicz), but they still maintain a position of authority.

They’re a “loving, caring Daddy who may be big but is warm and fuzzy inside,” Weiss adds. “This is the daddy who would engage in more nurturing activities such as helping the little get dressed, taking them to the park, or otherwise babying and spoiling them.” 

Disciplinarian Daddy

The Disciplinarian Daddy is more focused on control, rules, and consequences. They may be disciplinary in the bedroom, in the relationship, or in all aspects of the little's life (e.g., spanking, telling them what to do, name-calling, giving them a time out, etc.). Punishment is the primary way they exert their authority.

“These Daddies tend to attract brats or masochists as their partners because punishment or discipline is the meat and potatoes of this dynamic,” says Narkiewicz, noting that some Disciplinarian Daddies can be tender and nurturing, but discipline is their chosen method of expressing their dominance. “This relationship dynamic is formed in a way that constantly reminds their partner who has the ultimate say or control in the relationship.”

It's important to note that this type of relationship is consensual and that the little plays an active role in providing feedback and setting boundaries to ensure they feel safe and comfortable.

“A discussion should be had beforehand regarding what the little does not want in terms of punishment, particularly in terms of what names may offend them,” advises Weiss. 

Cold and Distant Daddy 

At the other end of the spectrum, some Daddies may take on a more cold, distant, or even neglectful approach. These Daddies may use their words as weapons (e.g., telling their partner they’re disappointed with them). 

“They may also use physical behaviors like withdrawing their physical touch or affection to create an emotional response to appeal to their partner’s submissive nature,” says Narkiewicz. “They tend to create an aura around them that they’re unreachable or impossible to please, which makes their submissive partner strive even harder to please them.”

That said, not all Cold and Distant Daddies are so serious. “Someone can be playful with this and combine it with Disciplinarian Daddy — for instance, by telling the little they need to be a good girl to gain Daddy’s approval,” says Weiss. “This idea hits close to home for many people, but that’s also why it can be funny, sexy, and possibly healing.”

Again, the Daddy dynamic is not inherently abusive or unhealthy. Every DD/lg relationship, like any other, requires clear communication, ongoing consent, and respect for boundaries. 

Dad Joke Daddy

On the lighter side, the Dad Joke Daddy incorporates more humor, playfulness, and silliness into their Daddy role. These Daddies relish telling corny dad jokes, engaging in sillier behavior, and creating a more lighthearted approach.

“He is clearly trying very hard to humor the little and make them happy,” says Weiss. 

The Professor/Mentor Daddy

For some Daddies, the real appeal lies in the opportunity to guide and nurture their littles, whether that's in the bedroom or in their personal and professional lives. These Daddies are known as Professor/Mentor Daddies.

“They may enjoy engaging in an educational way, whether teaching their partner about things they know or taking the lead of learning new things together,” says Narkiewicz. “Their ultimate desire is to help their partner improve or cultivate new skills or knowledge. This Daddy may be more pedantic and correct big and small things such as spelling, pronunciation, exact definitions, etc.”

In a less serious context, a Professor/Mentor Daddy may read to their littles, help them with “homework,” or engage in other educational roleplay.

Princess’s Daddy

The Princess's Daddy showers their little with affection and gifts. They choose to cater to and spoil their princess, providing them with praise, attention, and support as needed. This could involve cooking their little's favorite meals, taking them on adventures, buying them new toys or clothes, or catering to their every need in the bedroom. (This DD/lg dynamic isn't the same as a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship, though it may have some similarities.) 

“When we hear the word Princess, it evokes an image of a royal, mightier than though attitude or a spoiled brat. So, a Princess’s Daddy might be a Daddy that dotes, pampers, and panders to their ‘princess,’” says Narkiewicz. “This is an interesting dynamic because this Daddy may share dominance in the overall relationship with their princess partner who tends to be demanding.”

Although this Daddy may seem submissive in their treatment of their little, they are dominant in other ways.

Brave Knight Daddy

Some Daddies may take on a more heroic, noble persona — like a Brave Knight. This type of Daddy borrows from the hero or savior complex and offers protection in physical or emotional ways in a much more exaggerated fashion than other Daddies would.

“Their job is to create a safe space for their partner and suspend judgment however necessary for that dynamic,” says Narkiewicz.

This could mean literally "rescuing" their little from danger, but it can also mean shielding them from emotional or psychological harm.

The Bottom Line

Being a Daddy, no matter which Daddy style resonates the most with you, is a huge responsibility. These are just some of the different ways Daddies can express their dominance and love for their littles.